I WEAR this, wherever I go ...

- (an uncensored version of this) on a cord around my neck.

It's double laminated, so if whatever happens to me is messy, it can be wiped off and read by first responders.  I've checked with a few of them, and have been assured that, while their IMMEDIATE priorities may be different, EVENTUALLY someone WILL get around to calling the three numbers on this.

That's a relief, because what will come when the money runs out is SO inevitable, I'm getting resigned to it;  almost looking forward to it.

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Frustration; followed by HOPE ...

When I checked my mailbox yesterday (SAT, 10 JUN 2017), I found a package from the VA. I thought it to be the bifocals they had prescribed for me and, (IF they worked as well as I HOPED), on Monday I would go back to the store to TRY to get BACK onto the work scheduje for some DESPERATE:Y NEEDED PAYCHECKS.

Unfortunately, insread of the glasses, it was just more of the eye-drops.

BEFORE those drops, I had spells where (with my RIGHT eye) I think I could MATCH the grouping in the pic.

But, right NOW, it looks as if I'll need half an hour* to hammer out this note (because of typos and trying to hold a magnifier to the screen to find and fix them)

If I state that the situation is such that I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, reach across the bed and feel between the mattresses to reassure myself that the .44 IS there, and READY, you probably PERFECTLY understand the "Frustration" part of the title.

So, where does "HOPE" come into this"?

Because of my (frequently) expressed fears of being driven to suicide (the financial situation really IS that bad ... becoming HOMELESS scares the HELL out of me), a wonderful lady friend emailed to me ...

"Hey Paul -  You're such a drama queen ;=)."

 ... followed with ...

"Seriously though, I think the cataract surgery might help more than you think.  My mom is way older than you and she got cataract surgery a few years back and it helped a lot."

She's probably RIGHT, on BOTH parts. The doc is VERY happy with the pressure reduction (from the eye-drops) and is optimistic that cataract surgery really WILL help (SOME), He also warned me to be carefull when driving, because of how my peripheral vision has been affected.

He strikes me as pretty savvy, and NOT sloppy with his language. Giving me THAT warning, instead of saying, "You have no business even THINKING about ever driving AGAIN." makes me hope that all may NOT be LOST.

???

(* = Took an HOUR and a half.)

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