"... and call off Christmas!!!" - (R.I.P. Alan Rickman - 14 JAN 2016)

There actually was something really good in Kevin Costner's  Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991).

That something was Alan Rickman, as the Sheriff of Nottingham.

 from www.fanpop.com

In a previous post, I kinda dumped on The Syfy Channel a bit, for the inclusion of distinctly non-science fiction items in its lineup, including that movie.

(In a conversation with a clerk at Barnes & Noble, I learned that a writer, asking one of the people running The Syfy Channel about why they had changed their name from The "Sci-Fi Channel", was told that "Sci-Fi" is considered shorthand for "Science-Fiction", implying that would be the content;  whereas "Syfy" is in fact just a totally meaningless bit of noise, and gives them license to schedule whatever they wish.  Okay ... )

Back to Alan then.

Of all the people in this movie, he alone appears to be actually having fun, being so deliciously nasty.

After the Sheriff  has said he'll cut out Robin Hood's  heart with a spoon ...
Guy of Gisborne: "Why a spoon, cousin?  Why not an axe?"
Sheriff: "Because it's DULL, you twit.  It'll hurt more."
(Said with a sneer that only Alan Rickman can manage; he has an absolute lock on that.)

Sheriff: (to a wench)  "You.  My room.  10:30 tonight."
Sheriff: (to another wench)  "You.  10:45 ... And bring a friend."

Upon hearing from a scribe about the relationship Robin Hood has with the people...
Sheriff: "Just a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public,  -- and they love him for it?"
The scribe nods.
Sheriff: "That's it then.  Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings,  -- and call off Christmas!!!"

One thing I'll always wonder: Was that last parting shot scripted?
Or, was Rickman on a roll at that time and he just ad-libbed it?

At times, he seems to be in an entirely different movie than the rest of the cast is, and almost succeeds in making this bloated epic truly watchable.  Unfortunately, as with Ian McShane in the latest "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, he can't do the job all by himself. 

What put him on the map was his role as Hans Gruber (one of the all-time great villains) in Die Hard  (1988), opposite Bruce Willis...

 from aveleyman.com

Problem with getting on the map that way is the danger of typecasting.  In Quigly Down Under  (1990), opposite Tom Selleck, he played a villain with a mustache almost fit for twirling.  He seemed to be at the top of any list for playing a back-stabbing, conniving SOB, and got quite a bit of work as such.

But, that's not the only side to him.  Right after "Quigly", he appeared in Truly Madly Deeply (1990), wherein he was a ghost hanging around his girlfriend who really needed to get on with her life, but found it a bit difficult with him and his ghost friends around all the time, watching videos (what else do you do with all that time in the afterlife?)  It was a sweet, warm role totally unexpected for the guy who played Hans Gruber.

His latest work has been as Professor Severus Snape, the "Darth Vader" of the Harry Potter series...

 from www.examiner.com

He's actually the most tragic figure in the story, very multi-layered (Yes!  I'm quite aware that I use that phrase a lot;  I'm drawn to characters that rate it).  Rickman succeeds in the challenge of taking a character you've learned to hate, and making you almost weep for him near the end of the last movie.

What can I say?  The man is simply so damned good.

(Originally published 2102 CST 08 AUG 2011)
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UPDATE Thursday, 14 JAN 2016:  I've just learned that Alan Rickman has left us today...  

...  FAR TOO SOON.  Rest in peace, Sir.  :-(


For his LAST performance in a live-action film ...

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

"NEVER tell a soldier ... (Updated 28 JUN 2016)

... that he does not know the cost of war."
~Alan Rickman as Lt. General Frank Benson in Eye in the Sky (2015)

A FINE way to go out!
frown emoticon
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Whenever I think the Syfy Channel has reached its limit ...

... it manages to surpass itself.

For tonight (Sat, 16 Jun 2012, 8 PM CDT) TV Guide lists for The Syfy Channel ...

 Piranhaconda (2012) A piranha-anaconda hybrid terrorizes a movie crew.

Words fail me.
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Update 2200 CDT, Sat 16 Jun 2012 - Going way above and beyond the call of duty, I've just finished watching it.

When I first heard of this, I flashed on another Syfy Channel offering of some time ago, Sharktopus (which is being repeated as I write this, with an encore of Piranhaconda to follow). Looking them up on the Imdb, it shouldn't shock you that I've learned that these two share a writer.

Having now seen it, I suppose some more words are in order.

Problem is, the words just don't exist.
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Update - Sun, 17 Jun 2012 - Perceptive readers will notice that I've added a new label (Syfy Channel) to my Categories list. It promises an endless supply of material for when the muse goes on vacation and I can't think of anything else to write.

Commenter roadgeek noted, "It gets worse. They're about to premiere another movie called 'Arachnoquake'." (see his comment below).

Breaking tradition, it appears to not be from the writer who conjured up  Piranhaconda,  Sharktopus before that, and Dinocroc vs Supergator (Damn! Missed that one. Seeing a pattern there?).

But it does appear to follow the Syfy Channel's M.O. of adding to a cast of relative unknowns, in a supporting role, precisely ONE actor you may have even heard of (probably attracted to the project because rent is due, and he'd like to eat).

In Sharktopus you had Eric Roberts (Julia Roberts' brother; a fairly decent actor whom I last saw in The Dark Knight - Yes! The Batman film with Heath Ledger as The Joker).

Piranhaconda's token is Michael Madsen; a long way from Reservoir Dogs or Kill Bill.

Arachnoquake lists Edward Furlong (Sarah Conner's son John, in Terminator 2: Judgment Day).

No idea if it will have some of the (inadvertent) humor of Piranhaconda; in addition to their other problems, some bandits kidnap the movie crew for ransom. On recovering a videocam left by a victim of the title creature and seeing on it what they might be up against ...
  Chief thug's girlfriend:  "It seems to be a blend of piranha and anaconda
      "-- a PIRANHA-CONDA!"
  Chief thug:  "I can't believe you just said that."

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Foray

- "a quick raid, usually for the purpose of taking plunder."

My previous post, Treasure Island, began ...
 On Saturday night, 05 May 2012, the SYFY Channel made a foray there.

That post was prompted by the SYFY Channel showing their version of the story. While I spent a few paragraphs on it, I mostly wrote about the 22-year-old TNT Channel Charlton Heston version that I found to be far superior.

I used that word "foray" because I had heard it before and liked the sound of it. In my usual nit-picking after-the-fact analysis I often conduct on things, I later looked it up to see if it was a good choice. It was purest accident that it turned out to be perfect in that context.

Well, yet another foray appears about to occur.

Tomorrow (Friday, 18 May 2012), "Battleship" hits the big screens.  Based on the Hasbro board game (of which I know absolutely nothing; Hasbro was also responsible for "Transformers"), it sounds like the kind of put-brain-in-neutral-and-enjoy type of special effects extravaganza I will almost certainly check out.  All about the US Navy (including that Battleship) taking on hostile alien spaceships.

So, what do I find in the TV Guide for the very next evening (Saturday, 19 May 2012); on the SYFY Channel?

"American Battleship (2012) - The Crew of the USS Iowa take on a fleet of hostile alien spaceships."

I could spend weeks of research and probably never find a better example of what the SYFY Channel is apparently about.  Sure, other networks are also guilty of this, but I cannot think of any that are so blatant about it. They don't even pretend to be not ripping off other works.

They are truly unmatched for audacity.
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First Update - Fri, 18 May 2012 - Saw "Battleship" .
Bottom Line:  Save your money. Dumb doesn't even begin to describe it.

I wrote this post, not as a review, but as a comment on the SCFY Channel's policy of latching on to the latest potential hit out of Hollywood in an attempt to rake in a bit for themselves by ripping it off.

Now, I'm wondering if I'll wind up enjoying their version more. That would be truly ironic. I'll know more tomorrow evening.

This will be a long night;  in a little bit, I'm going to a midnight showing, at the River Oaks theater, of a 2000 Japanese gore-fest called "Battle Royale" (sort of "The Hunger Games" on steroids). Thank God I don't have to work tomorrow. :-)

Second Update - Sat, 19 May 2012 - Up above, I seem to have committed myself to checking the SYFY Channel offering.  So, I did.
Bottom Line on That: Could have been worse.

The most damning thing about "Battleship" is that is the best thing that could be said about it.

"American Battleship" (as it's called in TV Guide; "American Warships" is its actual title) can be described as "not too bad", and is a surprise by not being from Romania or Bulgaria as so many made for SYFY Channel movies have been.

If you didn't catch it, you really haven't missed anything. Nothing left to say.

Update Tue, 05 Jun 2012 - I found this photo of the USS Iowa delivering a broadside, and the kid in me (which is the dominant part of my nature :-) reacted with "Cool!!!".

An overhead view of the battleship USS IOWA (BB-61) firing all 15 of its guns

(nine 16-inch and six 5-inch) during a 1984 target exercise near Vieques Island.  

What made me go for this one over the many other photos available was the concussive effects on the water of the gun's firing. That bowl-like depression in the water is about a city block and a half across.

In the SYFY Channel movie, the Iowa is on its last voyage, on its way to becoming a floating museum when hostile alien spaceships attack with EMP weapons that fry and make useless all the solid-state gadgetry of modern vessels.  As this antique has old fashion stuff immune to such attacks, all of a sudden it comes in pretty handy.

On Anthony Watt's Watts Up With That? site, I found Memorial Day tribute – USS Iowa final voyage this weekend , from whence the photo came. That final voyage was the ship on its way to becoming a floating museum. So far, no mention of spaceships.

As it turns out, the photo is on topic here; neither the movie "Battleship" nor the SYFY version having any scene to hold a candle to that photo.

But even if this blog was devoted exclusively to needlepoint, I'd have found some justification for putting it here. Some photos justify themselves. 

(I guess I had a bit more to say after all. :-)

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Treasure Island

On Saturday night, 05 May 2012, the SYFY Channel made a foray there.

To their credit, and true to their apparent resolution that their new name is just a meaningless bit of noise giving them license to show whatever they wish without the necessity of it having anything to do with "science-fiction", they did not introduce a device or being from another world into the story (as they actually have done in some of their previous efforts with classics).

Unless you count the casting of ...

Eddie Izzard as Long John Silver  in Treasure Island (2012) - from theartsdesk.com

... comedian Eddie Izzard as Long John Silver.

But, this is not a diss on Eddie Izzard. Indeed, he is easily the best thing in an otherwise forgettable savaging of the story, and is the only reason to check it out when it is inevitably repeated, becomes available on Netflix, or is issued on DVD (probably within a few months).

His take on Long John is one of the best in ages, deserving to be in a far worthier movie. He adds a tremendous amount of depth and presence to a cunning and almost completely amoral character.

His problem is that, except for an appearance by Donald Sutherland as Captain Flint (this should make most of you who know the story react with, "WHAT?!!!"), he is mostly a one man band here. The rest of the cast is competent, but that's all I can really say about them. That translates pretty well as forgettable.

I have argued before and, after this, still consider the absolutely finest version of the story to be ...

(All images below are screencaps from this DVD)

Charlton Heston created perhaps the finest version ever of Treasure Island (1990) as a made-for-TV movie, and populated it with a wonderful cast (he did pretty well with his part as well, considering that Long John Silver is not an easy role, having to be tough enough to control a pirate crew and still manage to be sympathetic to a young boy).

Long available only on VHS tape, late last year if finally became available on DVD (and about damn time too.)

Considering that I described Charlton Heston as "did pretty well with his part as well, ...", you might be wondering, "In that case, what's so special about this version?"

My answer would be, "Just about everything else."

From the music soundtrack by Paddy Maloney and The Chieftains augmenting their traditional pipes and whistles with native drums and the unmistakable bass-note stuttering Whonk-wong-wonnnggg of an Australian aboriginal didgeridoo (those additions are not gimmicks, but fit perfectly with the mood the movie is trying to set at times), to the casting of major A-List players for various parts.

Such as ...

Oliver Reed as Billy Bones

and ...

Isla Blair as Mrs. Hawkins and an impossibly young Christian Bale as Jim Hawkins

along with ...

Christopher Lee as Blind Pew -  "SIT, right where you are!", as he confronts Billy Bones

and also ...

Pete Postlethwaite as George Merry

Those are A-List actors, some for parts that would normally be filled by lesser players. And this pays off in the result.

Of course, for Long John ...

Charlton Heston as Long John Silver

Although I praised Eddie Izzard for his interpretation of Long John, I still maintain that Charlton  was just fine in that role, just a bit less obviously so because he surrounded himself with exceptional talent. As he produced the movie, making the whole thing possible, here's another picture with him ...

Robert Putt as Job Anderson, Michael Halsey as Israel Hands,

and Chuck as, well you know.

Note that dude in the center. Israel Hands is one of the most interesting characters in the story, and Michael Halsey (I'd never heard of him before, but he's done quite a lot of work in television) absolutely owns the character.

Early in the voyage, before disappearing overboard one night, First Mate Mr. Arrow ...

... had this as his last sight.

Israel Hands was Captain Flint's chief gunner, so if you are not a friend of Israel,...

... this is not where you would wish to see him.

After Jim has had a confrontation with Hands, ...

"Oh, Jim. You didn't keep your powder dry. Didn't they learn you nothin'?"

A classic painting for a special issue of the book set up these scenes ...

Bottom line: Michael Halsey absolutely owns this role, and he alone would be ample reason to seek out and buy this DVD, but there is so much else as well. You can probably find it in bargain shelves at Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, and others.

I would so love to see this on the big screen, with an audience, perhaps as a midnight movie at the River Oaks Theater. I actually think it would do well and the audience would love it. But, I wont hold my breath waiting for a dream.

(Yes!  I really think it's that good.  Go find it, buy it, and tell me what you think.  Ok?  :-)

To an unknown viewer in Minnesota, who has lately appeared many times on my site meter (seeking "michael halsey actor") ...

I'm delighted at the interest in a post I'm quite fond of.  My email address is linked in the left column on my page. If you feel like it, I would love to hear from you.
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The Syfy Channel has begun to parody itself.

.. Actually, it's gone way beyond parody.

It's bad enough that it manages to get funding to produce some of the absolutely silliest and most incompetent "science-fiction" movies ever seen (the quotes are because the "science" would rattle around in a thimble), but they also fill the voids in their schedule with stuff that has no conceivable place on such a channel.

Before you reach one of the few shows I like ("Haven", for one), you are treated to "WWE Smackdown" (Wrestling, if you've never seen it - I watched wrestling on TV in the late '50s as a kid; absolutely nothing has changed - talk about remakes.).

WHAT on earth does that have to do with fantasy or science-fiction?!!!

Oh, wait.  Forget I ever asked.

Tonight, Sun 07 Aug 2011, what do I see in the lineup?

Kevin Costner's "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".

On the Syfy Channel?!!!

(Well, for weeks now, it's been a weekend staple on BBC America;  I suppose while they're waiting for the next episodes of "Dr. Who".  Maybe that's got something to do with it.)

If this was a part of a resurrected "Mystery Science Theater 3000",  I'd be very cool with that.  The movie would be perfect source material for that crew.

But, such does not appear to be the case.  Apparently, they have a void to fill and I'm guessing this was a cheap way to do it.  They can't seriously believe that swarms of viewers will flock to it, generating enormous revenues from the commercials.

If their programming managers truly believed that, they would probably be working for the government.
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