"When faced with a problem you do not understand,
do any part of it you do understand; then look at it again."
~(Robert A. Heinlein - "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress")

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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Whenever I think the Syfy Channel has reached its limit ...

... it manages to surpass itself.

For tonight (Sat, 16 Jun 2012, 8 PM CDT) TV Guide lists for The Syfy Channel ...

 Piranhaconda (2012) A piranha-anaconda hybrid terrorizes a movie crew.

Words fail me.

Update 2200 CDT, Sat 16 Jun 2012 - Going way above and beyond the call of duty, I've just finished watching it.

When I first heard of this, I flashed on another Syfy Channel offering of some time ago, Sharktopus (which is being repeated as I write this, with an encore of Piranhaconda to follow). Looking them up on the Imdb, it shouldn't shock you that I've learned that these two share a writer.

Having now seen it, I suppose some more words are in order.

Problem is, the words just don't exist.

Update - Sun, 17 Jun 2012 - Perceptive readers will notice that I've added a new label (Syfy Channel) to my Categories list. It promises an endless supply of material for when the muse goes on vacation and I can't think of anything else to write.

Commenter roadgeek noted, "It gets worse. They're about to premiere another movie called 'Arachnoquake'." (see his comment below).

Breaking tradition, it appears to not be from the writer who conjured up  Piranhaconda,  Sharktopus before that, and Dinocroc vs Supergator (Damn! Missed that one. Seeing a pattern there?).

But it does appear to follow the Syfy Channel's M.O. of adding to a cast of relative unknowns, in a supporting role, precisely ONE actor you may have even heard of (probably attracted to the project because rent is due, and he'd like to eat).

In Sharktopus you had Eric Roberts (Julia Roberts' brother; a fairly decent actor whom I last saw in The Dark Knight - Yes! The Batman film with Heath Ledger as The Joker).

Piranhaconda's token is Michael Madsen; a long way from Reservoir Dogs or Kill Bill.

Arachnoquake lists Edward Furlong (Sarah Conner's son John, in Terminator 2: Judgment Day).

No idea if it will have some of the (inadvertent) humor of Piranhaconda; in addition to their other problems, some bandits kidnap the movie crew for ransom. On recovering a videocam left by a victim of the title creature and seeing on it what they might be up against ...
  Chief thug's girlfriend:  "It seems to be a blend of piranha and anaconda
      "-- a PIRANHA-CONDA!"
  Chief thug:  "I can't believe you just said that."


1 comment:

roadgeek said...

It gets worse. They're about to premiere another movie called "Arachnoquake". As the title suggests it deals with a major earthquake in Southern Louisiana (credulity is strained earlier on) and a hive of giant, white albino spiders released by said quake. It's premiering in Tyler. Yes, Tyler. Apparently, that's the star's home town. She plays a character named Petra.


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